June 2011
9 posts
7) A Formal Father's Day Salute
Given the importance of yesterday, it would be remiss to not recognize the fathers of Scranton. We truly appreciate your vast array of loungewear and extensive knowledge of Saw 7’s cast bios. Thank you for remaining unemployed so that you can pick your children and mothers up from school every day. I can’t think of any individuals who are better suited to raise the future leaders of...
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6) In Honor of Fathers
Since yesterday was Father’s day, I would like to take the opportunity to thank all Scranton women who take the initiative to keep themselves in shape for their husbands. Many Scranton mothers have given up on themselves and their bodies, but the above pictures exemplify the type of woman that refuses to let herself go. They flaunt it ‘cuz they got it, and we, men, certainly...
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5) Seize the Day
Today, between 3:55 and 4:07 PM, I witnessed and was a part of something that could only happen in Scranton. While sitting in my car about to leave an outdoor ice cream stand, I saw an elderly woman - eating her chocolate ice cream cone at the storefront window - begin to shake…a lot. Her legs begin to bow; then her whole body began to sink. I initially thought the ice cream must be damn...
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4) Take your Grandma to School Day
Since most of the teenage educational facilities in Scranton are nothing more than glorified daycare centers, it is no wonder that the schools apparently began to implement “Take your Grandma to School” Day. By importing grandmas, the teachers get to do what they are best at: Nothing. And by nothing, I obviously mean having sex with your students rather than teaching...
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3) Celeb Spotting #1 - Lil Jon
The above picture is of celebrity rapper Lil Jon. He was believed to be spotted at the Wells Fargo Bank on Wyoming Avenue in Scranton. The two videos below show Lil Jon at the bank. The weirdest thing about this whole situation is not that Lil Jon banks with Wells Fargo’s Scranton branch, but the fact that Lil Jon had two Guinness bottle caps folded onto...
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WatchCeleb Spotting #1 - Lil Jon
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WatchCeleb Spotting #1 - Lil Jon:
Guinness Beer Cap video
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2) Is it Sexual?
You be the judge:
It is Scranton we’re talking about, so either he is nailing this lady cause she’s rich as shit ($30,000/year) or he’s still collecting an allowance, living in her basement, and playing Dungeons and Dragons until 4am.
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1) The Real Scranton
Due to the constraints of political correctness in today’s syndicated television, NBC’s characters can only shed minimal light on the weirdos that actually exist in Scranton. Unlike the ”The Office” (which should receive credit for exposing some of the utter oddities considered normal here), no holds barred exist on this site. You will see ALL, and to avoid any legal...